Bike

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I’m bored…bored with myself. I feel restless for a positive change. I don’t know what to do with myself. Being on Disability is…well, it isn’t easy. I feel like I should should should be doing more by now. My soul needs more stimulation. Being on a fixed income family of three has its’…limitations. I’m bored with that too. Bored bored bored. C’mon God, c’mon universe, something’s gotta give.

Looking back a year ago today I had just completed a 28 day inpatient program for Mood & Anxiety at CAMH, the Centre for Addictions and Mental Health. I was a pure mess going in…it saved my life. I’m grateful I’m no longer in that place. Grateful for all the blessings in my life.

I have a year and a half left of Disability income…what to do with this time I want to make the most of it. Not looking for advice really, just a direction from the universe.

I love photography but can I really turn this passion into a career? I need so much more education and more tools…

and a vacation. I’m watching friends taking off for warmer climes and feel jealous. Oh to be able to afford a vacation! Waaah waah waah poor me. Ugh! I drive myself.

I need your direction today God. Tell me, what is it you would have me do?

Patience is a virtue that eludes me presently.

It’s going up to 6 degrees today, thank you for this pleasure. I can smell Spring.

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22 thoughts on “Bike

  1. sheldonk2014 says:

    I feel your frustration,I will send you lite and prayers

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You are gifted dear and you always take amazing pictures. I know you can make it into a career. Just believe in yourself and listen to God 🙂 All the best sweetie!!! ❤ ❤ ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Being at home full time is very different. I just retired and I share some similar feelings right now since I have to wait until fall to go back to teaching part-time. But it was my choice–that is the difference, while yours was not. I’m glad you are healing and your blog and photos go a long way to helping you! Have you thought about taking a photography class through a parks and rec or through another source? Maybe take a community college course and develop your photography that way? Good luck and I will keep visiting your blog and beautiful photos!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. mike7sedona says:

    I understand your predicament having been in one such myself and also learned that the dark cloud always gives way to sunshine, sooner or later: proof of the Hand of Providence at play! If photography is your forte, give it a try and if that isn’t what God has planned for you, you’ll see His sign and your life will change.
    Very soon, you’ll be on that plane flying towards warmer climes – allow the candle of hope to burn a little longer and to light your way out of the tunnel. Surrender yourself to the will of God and you will surely succeed. Cheer up – all the best!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. JC says:

    If you doubt, the universe will doubt with you. If you remain positive the universe will be positive with you and this is where magic happens. But the universe is listening to your command. So choose wisely!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. smilecalm says:

    wishing you warm, calm in-breaths, Jules
    in the cool fresh air.
    many find their heart moved
    by volunteering time & energy
    at an agency, program or school.
    step by step
    i see you blooming 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  7. aladywrites4u says:

    What about building up a place to sell your photos like smugmug.com just to see it they are marketable. You have time to play with it a bit.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Patience and I do not like each other…OFTEN! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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