Happy May 2-4!

Mmmmmmmarvelous Monday holiday in May…I love this time of year. Not too hot, not too cold, juuuuuust right 😄.
And, it’s lilac season.
And, my birthday’s coming up this Friday.
And Friday is the last day of exams.
Yup, marvelous magnificent mmmmmmMonday in May…

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Lilacs I stole from a neighbour lol.

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This is how I'm spending this long weekend, studying for finals. Only 3 left!!

May this marvelous day in May be a momentous one.

Peace, love & light,
Julesy

Celebrating!

My Mid-Term mark! 39 out of 40!!! Weeeeeeeeeeeee! I’m loving this course. I’m so proud of myself!

For those of you who don’t know   I’m taking a Pre-Admission course in Physiology and Anatomy for the Massage Therapy program at the Sutherland-Chan School here in Toronto. I haven’t been in class for over 20 years…was rather nervous, excited and somewhat intimidated in the beginning. I do not have a Science background, I’ve been Arts all the way. I was a professional Musical Theatre actor before I became a mother 6 years ago. But I’m beginning to understand that career was the perfect training ground.

I was a singer/ dancer / actor…performing in the musicals CATS, Grease, Jesus Christ Superstar, Gypsy, Annie, Les Misérables to name a few. I knew those shows inside and out. Had to. Showed up to perform 8 shows a week over 6 days for two, three, 4 months at a time. I know what commitment means. And I do learn very well. I can do this!

I wasn’t the best student in High School though I knew I could have done better. In University I studied Acting, I did very well, A’s and B’s…but in my electives not so much. Because they didn’t interest me, they were simply a means to an end. I was that person who showed up for the exam in a flurry, all a fluster, saying, “I crammed all night, I am so fucked. How do you feel?!”  Thus, I was worried, maybe…I’m not smart enough/good enough to succeed in this new program.

I’m happy to say that isn’t the case. I’m no longer that gal. That gal showed up yesterday for the exam all a fluster having crammed all night asking me, “How do you feel?!” I felt appropriately nervous but very prepared. And it showed in my results. Yay! For her as well. Sadly she barely passed the exam. We spoke afterwards, she lamenting her poor result. She REALLY wants to get into this program. So from now on I’m going to be her quiz partner. I was very practical about her situation. If she aces the next two quizzes and the final she’ll pass above the passing grade of 65. But she’s got to put in the work, the time. She can do it, she just has to DO it. She seemed a little lighter after we spoke. She’s not alone, she has me in her corner. We’ll pass together! I want her to do well and I want to help. Helps me too! I love having a quiz partner.

It feels good though to know I have changed. I’m no longer ekeing by by the skin of my teeth. I want to be the best Massage Therapist I can be! I don’t want to let myself down by just “getting by”.

Wow. I did it. I did it!!!
Sigh ☺…feels sum good.

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Bala Bay Falls, 2015

Onwards & upwards!
Julia

Birthday Beach

Yesterday was the time I turned 43 ☺. Twas a relaxing time, a simple one, shared with my love on the shore of Lake Ontario on a bench in the spot nearby where we had our first date 7 years ago. Perfect weather, not too hot not too cold, juuuuuuust right. I spent the day exactly as I wanted to, with my family. Close in not too wide, nuthin’ too fancy. Chocolate cake, my favorite to top it off. I still don’t feel “in my forties” whatever that’s supposed to feel like. Young is how I feel except when my body tells me otherwise, lol.

What a difference a year makes. A year ago I was still struggling with the depression aspect of Bipolar2 Disorder…couldn’t fathom having the energy or mind to work, getting out of bed was a success. Dressing, brushing my teeth, being present. Now here I am taking a pre-requisite course in Physiology and Anatomy for the Massage Therapy program at Sutherland-Chan AND working a part-time job…AND enjoying my life.

Grateful…blessed…humbled are words that come to mind.

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Our living room wall decorated by Steven & Lily

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Lily's Birthday message

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A Dad & daughter out for a stroll...

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Our spot

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Boardwalk

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Special is another word I feel.

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Birthday smile

Twas a lovely day.

Mid-Term Saturday. I’ll let you know how it goes. I feel satisfied with my studies and can’t wait to get at it!

Thank you for visiting. I know my posts have been few and far between of late as well as my visits to your pages. Maybe now that my nerves have settled in regards to my class I’ll feel more inspired to be creative and engaged here.

Sending you peace, love & light,
Julia

My girl

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Earlier today at the bus station, Mom and daughter goin’ shoppin’…she turned six two weeks ago…the wee one no longer so wee. Gad how I love her.

Bike

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I’m bored…bored with myself. I feel restless for a positive change. I don’t know what to do with myself. Being on Disability is…well, it isn’t easy. I feel like I should should should be doing more by now. My soul needs more stimulation. Being on a fixed income family of three has its’…limitations. I’m bored with that too. Bored bored bored. C’mon God, c’mon universe, something’s gotta give.

Looking back a year ago today I had just completed a 28 day inpatient program for Mood & Anxiety at CAMH, the Centre for Addictions and Mental Health. I was a pure mess going in…it saved my life. I’m grateful I’m no longer in that place. Grateful for all the blessings in my life.

I have a year and a half left of Disability income…what to do with this time I want to make the most of it. Not looking for advice really, just a direction from the universe.

I love photography but can I really turn this passion into a career? I need so much more education and more tools…

and a vacation. I’m watching friends taking off for warmer climes and feel jealous. Oh to be able to afford a vacation! Waaah waah waah poor me. Ugh! I drive myself.

I need your direction today God. Tell me, what is it you would have me do?

Patience is a virtue that eludes me presently.

It’s going up to 6 degrees today, thank you for this pleasure. I can smell Spring.